WASHINGTON—While stressing that he has no plans to mount such an insurrection, Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Martin Dempsey told reporters Friday that if he really wanted to, he could probably carry out a sweeping military junta that would oust Pre... Patrons of Darrin’s Bar and Grill looked on in horror Friday as the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” was brutally murdered by local band Wrong Turn. CLEVELAND—Claiming they want to impose their will against the competition, Cleveland Browns head coach Rob Chudzinski announced Friday that the team is gearing up to aggressively punt the ball down opponents’ throats this season. WASHINGTON—Saying that those were definitely some good times, a reflective President Obama told reporters Friday that the current scandals plaguing his administration have made him long for the deeply frustrating, often maddening political climate o... The drama includes an accusation that a $15,000 gift from a donor to the governor went unreported and a chef that calls himself a whistle-blower.     President Obama’s second term is off to a rocky start, with the acting IRS chief stepping down, the Justice Department seizing journalists’ phone records, and Republicans continuing to allege a high-level cover-up of the Benghazi attack last S... The New York Times Company was a victim of online attacks earlier this week that slowed down The New York Times Web site and limited access to content.     Refining Canada’s petroleum-soaked oil sands produces petroleum coke, and the question of what to do with it has found at least one answer in Detroit, where a large coke pile covers an entire city block.     A ban on abortion at the 12th week of pregnancy is likely to be declared unconstitutional, a federal district judge said.     SAVAR, BANGLADESH—In the wake of a garment factory collapse last month that claimed the lives of more than 1,100 laborers, clothing factory owners throughout Bangladesh issued a joint statement Wednesday, pledging to spare every expense necessary to... Government mismanagement has left toilet paper in short supply in Venezuela, causing long lines to form throughout the country to purchase the rapidly dwindling item, and prompting lawmakers to call for the immediate importation of 50 million rolls. Human Rights Watch said Friday that visits to two Syrian security centers contained proof of widespread, arbitrary detentions and torture by the government of President Bashar al-Assad.     With an eye toward helping students navigate the digital world, Burlington High School outside Boston adopted the iPad one-to-one program, which provides every student with an iPad. In its first year, the program has already made a big difference — students say they’re more excited and organized than in previous years, and teachers say they see a deeper level of learning. “Having a say in your education is really powerful,” says one student. “With iPad, you feel like you’re more in charge.” Apple announced financial results for its 13-week fiscal 2013 first quarter ended December 29, 2012. The company posted record quarterly revenue of $54.5 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.1 billion, or $13.81 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $46.3 billion and net profit of $13.1 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share, in the 14-week year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with record revenue of over $54 billion and sales of over 75 million iOS devices in a single quarter,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “We’re very confident in our product pipeline as we continue to focus on innovation and making the best products in the world.” Rachel Alexandra, the 2009 Preakness and horse of the year winner who is now a broodmare, is recuperating from a near-fatal infection she developed after foaling in February.     Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot. Getting That Perfect Souffle In A World Of Uncertainty And Pain Apple announced that it will hold its annual Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) June 10 through June 14 at San Francisco’s Moscone West. At the five-day conference, developers from around the world will learn about the future of iOS and OS X. WWDC will also feature more than 100 technical sessions presented by over 1,000 Apple engineers and hands-on labs to help developers integrate new technologies. And the popular Apple Design Awards will showcase the most outstanding apps available through the App Store and Mac App Store. Tickets for this year’s WWDC go on sale Thursday, April 25, at 10 a.m. PDT. A new round of subpoenas requesting information indicates that federal prosecutors are intensifying their efforts to build a case against the hedge fund SAC.     PALATINE, IL—During a tennis tournament hosted by Fremd High School, spectators, coaches, and fellow competitors agreed Thursday that the massive gulf in skill levels between top-ranked Anthony Pagano and bottom-seeded Tyson Vandervennet was the mos... The best tool to improve and keep track of your health may be in your pocket, says Dr. Eric Topol, a pioneering figure in “wireless medicine” — the practice of using apps and devices in health care. An article from NBC News describes how new apps for iPhone and other devices can measure vital signs and even detect whether someone is having a heart attack. “These days, I’m prescribing a lot more apps than I am medications,” says Dr. Topol. “The smartphone will be the hub of the future of medicine.”